Poaching a National Park will get your Pee-Pee slapped by C-Dub
Time to wear a different hat and report on some serious issues that need to be addressed immediately:
Poaching a park or a closure on a snowmobile, and the BC ORV registration program.
There seems to be a bit of confusion about registration and insurance of snowmobiles in BC so here’s the skinny. As of November 1st, 2015 all BC residents must register their snowmobiles and display a number plate to operate it legally on crown land, including resource roads.
There are no new insurance requirements, but the decades old minimum requirement of $200,000 third party liability and a valid driver’s license to operate on a forest service road still stands. Snowmobiles cannot be operated on paved roads as they do not meet the requirements of the motor vehicle act and cannot be insured to operate on paved roads (highways or in town). Duh.
The cost is a one-time fee of $48 to cover admin and the plate or sticker that has to be displayed somewhere clearly visible; you will also have to pay the tax on the machine if you did not purchase it new.
If you are from outside of BC you do not need to register your snowmobile to operate it on crown land but you must carry government issued photo identification, proof of ownership (bill of sale), or if the province you came from requires you to register your machine, you must carry all the supporting documents from that jurisdiction.
A couple other points worth mentioning is that the minimum age to operate a snowmobile is 16 unless supervised by an adult with a valid driver’s license, and everyone must wear a DOT approved helmet.
Poaching a national park to ride a bit of fresh pow looks tempting but there is a zero tolerance policy with frequent patrolling from the ground and air. Poaching a park on your snowmobile will not be tolerated and if caught you will be punished to the fullest extent of the law. Here’s what to expect when you get busted:
$250,000 fine and jail time for second offence
Heli flight to fly your sled out of the park
Criminal charges laid by the crown prosecutor
A trial if you plead not guilty
Park boundaries are marked but it is ultimately up to you to educate yourself; grab a trail map of the area you are going to or snap a photo on your phone. Ignorance is not an excuse and will not get you out of trouble.
When a sledder goes into a park they are not only creating a problem for themselves but also for the snowmobile clubs that work with provincial and federal governments to make areas available for motorized use. Here’s another problem to think about: if I get a hold of your name after you get busted for intentionally poaching a park I will personally roast you on this very blog right here. No mercy homie.
Some things will never change and if you’re dumb enough to be a repeat intentional park poacher:
I hope you also get a stone chip in your new windshield.
And I hope you never get off early on Fridays and it’s always busy on Fridays and you always have to work on Fridays.
And I hope you drop a socket in the snow and never find it and it’s the most important socket and no one else has it and the socket store is all sold out of sockets.
And I hope all your beers explode in your bag.
And I hope you hit your shins on the trailer hitch when you walk behind your truck and it hurts really badly and you rip your new pants.
And I hope you drive up your ramp with your scratchers down and bust your ramp all to pieces.
And I hope your plug in is too far away from your bed and your phone charger won’t reach.
I hope you leave your credit card in the gas pump.
I hope Tim Horton messes up your coffee every day and I hope your window won’t roll down in the drive through and you have to open the door.
I hope you have a slow leak in your tire.
I hope your boots are always a little wet at the toes.
I hope your toast lands buttered side down when you drop it.
I hope the grocery store doesn’t have what you were sent there to get.
I hope you get a Culture Club song stuck in your head.
I hope you think it’s almost lunchtime but it’s actually only 9:47
I hope you go to pick up your dog’s poo with a grocery bag but there’s a hole in it and you get poo on your hand.
I hope you write a really long text to someone asking a lot of questions and they just text back “K”.
I hope you go to put your jeans on and there’s a tiny hole in the knee and your big toe catches the hole when you’re pulling them on and rips it wide open
I hope you can’t ever find the end of the roll of the packing tape.
I hope your beer league hockey team goalie is always late and you never remember to get your skates sharpened.
I hope you go to get some ice to make a cocktail but there is only one cube left in the tray.
Anyways, just don’t sled in the park please.
– Count C Dubula
To get nerdy and sift through the fine details of the ORV Act, go here: