Humour
October 25th, 2021
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The Right Personality for Mountain Sledding

Mountain riding continues its growth in popularity, and it’s easy to understand why.

Snowmobiling in the mountains is an amazing experience full of spectacular views, comradery, adventure and adrenaline-fuelled fun that few other activities can provide.

So if you’re scrolling through the classified ads or looking around your dealer’s showroom thinking it’s time to get into mountain riding, stop for a moment and make sure that you have the right personality for it first.

Here, in no particular order, are a few personality traits that will really help yourself and those around you when you’re out there dodging trees and pointing your 180 h.p. fire toboggan up a snow-laden mountain.

 

Editor’s note: In case you don’t figure it out right away, this piece is incredibly sarcastic, and in no way should anyone take this advice at face value, in particular, with regards to avalanche and other safety concerns.  If you’re really new to mountain sledding and looking for some tips, check out 10 Things Real Mountain Sledders Would Never Do (also pretty sarcastic) or Introducing Your Spouse to Mountain Sledding (Without Being Murdered), both by our resident smartass author, Marty.

The Right Personality for Mountain Sledding

Know-it-all

Mountain riders depend on a wide variety of inputs, opinions and points of knowledge when it comes to forming assessments and making wise decisions on the hill. The more eyes and ears assessing potential hazards the better; riders rely on teamwork and group decision-making to stay safe.

By being a know-it-all, you can easily bypass all of this nonsense and just make the decisions yourself for the betterment of the group. The group will really appreciate you undermining their collective knowledge and making poor decisions on behalf of everyone.

Additionally, this personality trait will also come in handy to keep the conversation rolling while you are stopped for lunch. Nothing goes better with a frozen fruit rollup than some political discussion! The group will love to hear your feelings on the democratically elected leader of the country, what’s wrong with social media and, of course, your thoughts on vaccinations.

Right Personality Know it all_
"I'm telling you: TRUTH Social is going to blow Facebook and Twitter out of the water! It's going to be huge!"

Selfish

If you do everything for yourself with no regard for others (especially from a safety standpoint), you are sure to be very popular with your riding group.

Mountain riding can be a lot of work. But if the whole group helps out every time someone gets stuck, well, then you will all be exhausted. It’s best to save your energy by being a renegade and wandering off on your own to get lost. This leaves the rest of the group to enjoy their day and only the person who is stuck will be tired out.

At the end of the day it is also best to save precious energy by loading your own sled quickly and then going to sit in the warm truck while everyone else ties things down.

Impatient

Experienced mountain riders will tell you that riding skills take time and practice to develop. They may talk about the years they have put into working out, eating right and practicing skills.

Don’t believe them! They just don’t want you to try anything difficult for fear of the world seeing how easy it really is.

Improvement comes from challenging yourself, and constantly riding above your abilities is a surefire way to achieve this. Just make sure that the cameras are rolling first.

Impatience is also beneficial if you end up riding with people who have less skill than you. When someone gets stuck a few times, they are obviously not getting the message. A raised voice and some choice criticism aimed in their direction will help them learn quickly and avoid more failure in the future.

Right Personality for Mountain Sledding Stuck_
When someone in your group gets stuck it's best that you leave them to deal with it themselves, so they learn quickly the error of their ways.

Undisciplined

Let’s face it, you are out here to have fun. Don’t let self-discipline ruin a good day on the slopes.

Having an undisciplined attitude will give you the courage to drop into a hole or draw that you cannot climb back out of. Imagine the hours of fun you will have by yourself in all that untouched powder, where no one else is brave enough to tread!

Procrastinator

If you are a chronic procrastinator, there is something you should know about Mother Nature: She’s not impressed by what you were “going to do”. So don’t let avalanche and first-aid training get in the way of your seat time.

If things go south out there, the best way to avoid a sense of guilt about an incident is to put off worrying about it and get back on the horse.

Speaking of procrastination, when you are stranded in the middle of nowhere with a broken down machine, no one will probably care that you had “planned” to do maintenance. Maintenance and upkeep is highly-overrated anyway—you are only relying on the machine to get you home. Spending the night on a mountain sounds pretty cool—like camping sort of—and could make for a great survival story.

Right Personality for Mountain Maintenance_
"Guys, I thought for sure I coulda got 5 or 10 more rides outta that track!"

Chauvinistic

Welcome to 2021. Some of the best riders and most knowledgeable backcountry safety and survival experts we have are female. Those taillights you see in the distance are likely one of the girls you can’t hang with, leaving you in their snowdust.

That’s no reason to give anyone credit for their skills or talent, though. Try to keep that big neanderthal forehead focused on the belief that snowmobiling is a man’s sport, and you should absolutely tell everyone why—especially in the pub after a couple of cold ones.

It’s also a good idea to share your opinions about women on your social media channels if you’re looking for some outstanding reach and engagement.

Right Personality Women_
Guaranteed, some of these women can ride circles around you!

Judgmental

Mountain sledding draws people from all walks of life, and you never know who you might meet on the hill.

We are all out there for the love of the mountain, regardless of our financial situation or appearance. Think your 90K super-king lariat bighorn truck makes you a better rider and person than the guy who just showed up with a home-built trailer behind a rusty ‘83 GMC? Probably not, but don’t let that stop you from poking fun of him or her. They will appreciate meeting someone with such a great sense of humour.

And yeah, your new gear is awesome too, but that old dude with the duct tape on his leather work gloves? Go ahead and make fun of him too. Just be sure you don’t need his help to find your way back home—he’s been riding these mountains for over 40 years and knows the way better than anyone.

Right Personality for Mountain 670_
That rider spinning 'nuts on the old Summit 670 might actually know the area like the back of their hand.

The Right Personality for Mountain Sledding

Today’s mountain sleds have vastly improved access to some of the most beautiful scenery in the world. Couple that with a steady improvement of cabins, trail networks and facilities by local club volunteers, and mountain snowmobiling is seeing a level of popularity that was unimagined in recent years. This growth is welcome and needed, as new riders will be the reason for mountain riding to continue to thrive.

Just make sure you go into it with the right personality and mindset, and you will be a welcome addition to any riding group!

 

– Marty

Right Personality Mountain Views_