Life Hacks
February 12th, 2018
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Some Romantic Valentine’s Day Advice from One Sledder to Another

It’s that exciting time of year again—no, not the first snowfall. That other exciting time. No, not snowcheck season either. Valentine’s Day!

Okay, so we snowmobilers may not be the most romantic bunch. If you’re like many sledders, the most romantic thing you’ve probably done this year is swish a ball of dirty socks into the laundry bin with a perfect three-pointer from the bed. It can be easy to forget that Valentine’s Day is here. However, some of us are lucky and have a significant other who enjoys sledding as much as we do. Those of us in this elite group basically live everyday like it’s Valentine’s Day—fuel up, gear up and RIDE.

To those whose spouses do not share our passion for the sport however, rest easy; I am here to help. One of the natural abilities that I’ve been blessed with is a very high functioning sense of romance—just ask my wife. I have been told many times, “Oh aren’t you romantic!” Usually when she says this, she is so amazed that her eyes actually roll in her head. My wife is in complete awe of how lucky she is in finding such a guy. And since Valentine’s Day is all about love and sharing, I figured I would spread some of my talent and help out those of you who may not have such a complete understanding of romance.

 

Let Your Partner Know Just How Much You Care

Obviously, the easiest way to let your special someone know how much you love them on Valentine’s Day is to compare them to your snowmobile. To start with, I can only assume that they have some knowledge of how deep your commitment to sledding is. If they don’t by now, then you might as well start packing; you are clearly with the wrong person.

To let your partner know how high they rank on the love scale, you can leave little hints around the house. A simple paper heart with a hand-written note that says, “I love you as much as I love my sled,” or, “You smell as good as two stroke smoke,” will be sure to give them heart flutters—or possibly palpitations. Same difference at this point.

If you would like to personalize it even more, you can add in memories that are sure to impress, such as: “Spending time with you is almost as exciting as that time I highmarked John’s turbo.” Or, “Losing you would hurt more than smashing my knee on the gas cap.” These little personalizations will let that special someone know that you are truly thinking about them. “You melted my heart like the pistons in an ‘81 Enticer,” is a personal fave.

 

Valentine's Day

 

 

Dress to Impress

If you are planning a romantic dinner, be sure to get yourself dolled up beforehand. I suggest that you wear your best base layer and run your sled in a closed garage for a while to get the exhaust smell well embedded (please use enough ventilation to maybe not die while attempting this). Depending on your relationship, the other option is to wear your oldest, most worn-out base layer (but only you know if crotchless is right for your special dining experience). You should also dab some two-stroke oil behind your ear.

 

Valentine’s Day Dinner

If you really want to go the extra mile, use your muffpot or other exhaust-based cooking device and fix them a delicious reheated gas station burrito; nothing says romantic Valentine’s Day dinner for two like recreating your favourite trailside meal for them to enjoy! Add in some two-stroke scented candles and Stompin Tom’ singing “The Snowmobile Song” in the background, and you have a Valentine’s date that they are sure to tell their friends about!

 

 

Last but not least, you can always wow the object of your affection with a poem. The “Roses are Red” format is simple and easy for even the most unromantic sledder to master. Just make it heartfelt, and your better half will know you think about them all of the time—all of the time that you are not sledding at least.

“Roses are red, Violets are blue, my sled runs too hot, and so are you.”

See, nothing to it.

Have some spare fuel ready; with these simple tips you will be sure to have some new found free time for sledding.

Good luck!

 

– Marty

 

Disclaimer: I am in no way responsible for any damages or injuries that may result from the misuse of this information. I also do not have any information on good divorce lawyers.