Cdub’s Off-Season Training Regimen
Wanna rip the face off a honey badger the next time you go sledding? Stupid question. Of course you do. Having the strength to be able to put your machine where you want is half the battle, the other half is convincing yourself you can. It’s the mental game that separates great sledders from ok sledders. If you’re like me and consistently celebrate mediocrity, no style and no talent, then you’re going to need brute strength to get your sled around in the mountains.
Here’s what you do:
Running sucks, but shout-out to those that do it well with good form and somehow look light on their feet even when they weigh 200 pounds. I get a kick out of the people that run because they feel they have to but clearly don’t want to. I especially enjoy seeing the head down trot, or the head up pained facial expression shuffle. I’ve tried running. I suck at it. I just get bored. Maybe if lasers were involved I might be interested.
I have a solution to running. I call it the die-athalon. It hurts going up and it hurts going down. It’s 1/8 of the time of going for a jog but just as effective, expands the lungs, and improves V02 max. Those of you that live in mountain towns are going to have a bit of an aesthetic advantage: find a steep downhill mountain bike trail that doesn’t get used much and head up it as fast as you can. Run, trot, jog, walk, crawl whatever. You’ll notice vast improvements after the first 5 or 6 times. If you can push through those first few times it doesn’t hurt as much after awhile. Not only does this work on cardio but it crushes those leg muscles… especially on the way down. If you’re in a city, hit the stairs.
Going to the gym can be lame when it’s super nice out but you can be creative and work out outside if you don’t mind all the weird looks. However, no one’s really gonna give you a hard time if you look like you could throw someone onto the roof of a building. Or if you’re throwing a tractor tire around a football field. Depending on what kind of training you want to do you have three different options for a workout:
- Low weight high reps tones muscles (50 pounds at 15 reps)
- High weight low reps to build muscle mass (100 pounds at 7 reps)
- Explosive power (75 pounds at 10 reps moving the weight as fast as you can)
Since snowmobiles weigh around 500 pounds with snow packed in there and fuel, (950 if you’re a four-stroke person), I feel that explosive power is the best workout to get stronger for sledding. Think about the movements you make while negotiating your machine up a tricky climb or technical sidehill: corrective motions pushing and pulling your machine. Shoulders and arms are what move the handlebars around, but focusing on one muscle group isn’t going to be a very effective workout, make sure every muscle group gets some action. Don’t skip leg day either, among many other reasons, working your lower body improves balance, relieves lower back pain, reduces the risk of injury and increases range of motion. Keep in mind that before you can work on being explosive through the motion of lifting weights, focus on getting form correct or you could injure yourself.
Working out is pointless if you don’t eat, but eat accordingly to the way you work out. If you want to get huge you’re going to want to hit the see-food diet. You see food, you eat it. Doesn’t matter what it is, get it in ya. Poutine your hashbrowns at breaky with extra gravy. Your body will churn it into muscle. If you want to be leaner, eat just as much but ease up on the cheeseburgers. Eat leaner carbs like quinoa or wild rice, lean meat like chicken or fish, and lots of dark, leafy green vegetables. Gauge your calorie intake to how much you train; you don’t need 5000 calories a day if you work out once a week. Everybody’s body is different so it would be impossible to make a set of rules that work for everyone. Adjust your diet and workout schedule as needed.
Crush these bad mammer jammers in the AM and you’re off to reach around and grab the day by the balls, lift it up, spin it over your head and powerslam it on the ground in front of you.
Spoonful of chia seeds
Fistful of kale
Lots of blueberries
Half tub of yogurt
½ cup water
Blend that shit up Homie.
Put it in a glass and chug.
Okay now clean the blender out and toss in:
1/2 cup cottage cheese
1 cup rolled oats
Dash of cinnamon
Blend that shit up Homie.
Cook on a hot griddle and serve with yogurt, peanut butter, Nutella, W.H.Y.