Why The Golden Snowmobile Club Should Run Canada
The Golden Snowmobile Club would like to thank everyone that came to Golden to sled last winter.
And we look forward to seeing everyone return this winter. We also look forward to welcoming first time visitors in 2015/2016 as we are experiencing growth in our visitor numbers from previous years.
GSC has been very busy this summer and the club is excited to hear feedback about the renovation done to the cabin in Quartz creek, which features a new roof and covered deck. Our club’s Board of Directors meets monthly all year and while we guinea pig our secretary’s interesting choices of pizza topping combinations, we are constantly looking to improve the experience of snowmobiling in Golden.
Along with the cabin renovation, we are working to combine and rebrand the Golden Snowmobile Club and The Golden Snowmobile Trails Society as SLEDGOLDEN. Check out www.sledgolden.com for weather, conditions updates and other information. The GSC is feeling confident about the upcoming sled season and is looking forward to new challenges. Like running a country.
Here’s a letter I wrote to Stephen Harper.
I haven’t heard back from him yet but I know the post office isn’t open on the weekend in Golden so maybe it will be there on Monday. I’ll check then.
Dear Stevey,
Due to our outstanding track record with grooming snowmobile trails in Golden, I feel the Golden Snowmobile Club is ready to run Canada.
I think we could save the Canadian taxpayers a lot of money by scrapping the Governor General. $283,300 to be exact. Can I ask why the Governor General got a $13,000 raise from last year? Can I have a $13,000 raise? I understand picking up the queen at the airport once every 5 years and handing out awards can be tough but I’m sure we could find someone else to do it part-time for a fraction of the cost. We could also save a lot of money if we stopped translating important documents from French to English and from English to French, and we don’t need to make signage in both languages anymore. We can take a lesson from those bathroom hand dryer thingies. We’ll just draw pictures from now on. The stickman/woman will be the new universal language. Also, let’s scrap the Senate and turn their chambers into a paintball range. What’s the point of having two separate rooms of government within our parliament that can veto each other’s decisions? Paintball is way funner. Plus it will generate revenue instead of relieve the taxpayers of $14,952,000 in senator salaries. While we’re at it, let’s close all the banks, no interest rates means no problems. With the money we save from the banks we can use it to construct personal lockboxes. Everyone gets their own safe. Kinda like self storage for your money. No more banks means no more housing bubble either. Bubbles are fun but when upwards of 80% of Vancouverites’ pre-tax income goes to mortgages, we’ve got a problem. We should also cut Alberta loose. I predict they will be looking for handouts in the near future and we don’t need any part of that hassle. Since 2011 70% of employment created in Canada was in Alberta and they have based their employment creation boom on crude oil and it’s running dry. Thanks for the good times Alberta but now it’s time to go. Alberta is like the super drunk guy at the party that is still there the next day and just sleeps on the couch while you’re trying to clean up. On the plus side, if Alberta leaves Canada it will be quicker to drive from BC to Saskatchewan! I think we can ban guided grizzly bear hunting and capitalize on the Saskatchewan seal hunt. There aren’t any seals in Saskatchewan you say? That’s fine, exotic big game hunters will pay either way, it’s the thrill of the chase. Everybody wins: the grizzlies, the rich American hunters, the Saskatchewan seals and our tourism revenue. We could also save a few dollars on printing money if we just switched to a smaller bill, say… the size of a stamp. Why does it need to be as big as it is? You’re not going to save it any more or less if it is a different size. That would also solve the problem of men and women having to carry such large wallets. A small coin purse will do. Or if you want you can still carry a much larger coin purse around in your pants to hold larger objects. Minimizing road maintenance in the north during the winter months would be a fantastic way to save a few bucks and get everyone outside and more active. Instead of running the fancy fuel gobbling snowplows up and down the roads it would be much cheaper to hand out some cross-country skis (and some skates for those icy days). Everybody wins again. Keeping fit and having fun!
You’re welcome in advance.
Yours truly,
– CDubulous
